


En Livstid I Krig

by musikfurfreiheit



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: A lot of feelings and no dialogue, F/F, Song Inspired, kinda angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29520879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musikfurfreiheit/pseuds/musikfurfreiheit
Summary: Inspired by the song by Sabaton.A short fic to reflect on Eivor's demons after the final battle.
Relationships: Eivor/Randvi (Assassin's Creed)
Kudos: 31





	En Livstid I Krig

**Author's Note:**

> För kriget, det kan  
> Förgöra en man  
> Jag ger mitt liv för mitt fosterland  
> Men vem saknar mig?  
> Så se mig som den  
> En make, en vän  
> Fader och son som aldrig kommer hem  
> Men vem sörjer mig?  
> \---  
> For the war, it can  
> Destroy a man  
> I give my life for my homeland  
> But who misses me?  
> So see me as this  
> A husband, a friend  
> Father and son who never comes home  
> But who mourns me?

The blood on her hands was all there was left of them.

The fire of their pyres still burned on her skin, the pain of their deaths still filled her heart. As many others, they had fallen in a war that she was fighting. They had fallen _for her_. Eivor did not know how many warriors lost their life during the fight, she only knew about the ones close to her. Soma, Hunwald, Hjorr. Great people that had fought for what they believed in, now reduced to nothing but dried blood under her fingernails.

The others had been faceless, nameless, at least to Eivor. It felt wrong. These people had given their lives for her, yet she would never mourn their deaths. For her they were mere soldiers, casualties, but to others they were so much more. They were the sons and fathers that would never return home, the friend someone had to leave behind on the field of battle, the husband leaving his wife a widow. They were someone’s Soma, someone’s Hunwald, someone’s Hjorr, but for Eivor they were no one.

A tight knot had settled in Eivor’s chest when they left Hamtungscire. Guilt had filled her heart, the urge to apologize so strong she had not dared to even mutter a word. So many lives cut short, so many dreams unfollowed, and for what? The one they had fallen for did not even know who they were. She had destroyed families, wiped out futures, ripped fathers away from their children.

Had it all really been worth it?

Eivor looked down at her hands again. The night had fallen, leaving the moonlight to guide them. It was too dark for Eivor to see the dark red border of dried blood under her nails, but she knew it was there. Hours of scrubbing had not been able to remove the stains, leaving the reminder of her fallen friends. She wondered if they blamed her as much as she blamed herself. It had been Eivor’s war, she had been the one to guide them to their graves. A fight for glory, but all they found was death. Their sagas were over.

Eivor closed her eyes. She was tired, so tired, of death and destruction. She wondered how many more people would die by her hand before she would be the one to meet her end. How many more people would she hurt by taking the lives of their loved ones? Would anyone care when it was her turn to take her last breath? Would people be grateful if she fell in battle? Styrbjorn would not shed a tear for her. He was her father by title, but that was all it was. Sigurd might grieve, but he would not mourn for her. Siblings except in blood, he would care, for a while. And Randvi…

A hand on her shoulder pulled Eivor from her thoughts. She opened her eyes and was met by Bragi’s concerned face. He was tired, as they all were, his thin smile not more than just a lift of the corner of his lips. He was silent and just eyed her for a second before standing up. Eivor’s eyes followed him, looking up and recognizing their familiar surroundings. The longship had come to a halt. They were home.

Ravensthorpe was dark, only illuminated by a few torches. The people were asleep, leaving the docks empty and quiet while she got off the longship. Eivor did not mind, she was not ready to face other people yet. If she was honest, she did not even dare to face herself. With a nod she thanked each man as they stepped onto the docks and officially came home. Not a single word was spoken among them. Usually the return of victorious warriors was celebrated and the biggest of feasts was thrown, but not tonight. Tonight they came home in silence, Eivor’s darkness seemingly hanging over everyone. This war had changed Eivor, perhaps it had changed them all.

The men’s footsteps died out, leaving Eivor alone on the docks. The distance towards the longhouse seemed so much greater than usual, the trip too long for her tired body. Did she even deserve to sleep in the bed that was reserved for her? Would a pyre next to her fallen friends not be more suitable?

What had she done to get a place in the longhouse anyway? She had barely spent any time at the settlement, had never shared more than just a few words with some people. She knew them as much as the people that had given their lives for her. Was this what a lifetime of war looked like?

Soft footsteps sounded against the wood of the docks. Eivor looked up, the tight knot in her chest loosening just a bit when she was greeted by a pair of soft eyes and a smile to match them. Randvi.

She just stood in front of Eivor, looking at her like she could see right into her soul. There was no need to talk, surely her scouts had reported on the death of their friends. Randvi understood, read her like no one else. Whatever rough patch they had been working through when Eivor left was all forgotten about. She wrapped her arms around Eivor, burying her face in the furs of her cloak.

The weight of the world seemed to fall off her shoulders. Eivor’s breath trembled, the knot in her chest loosening further when she pulled Randvi closer. The darkness that surrounded her felt lighter, it was easier to breathe, easier to feel.

Eivor closed her eyes and rested her cheek against Randvi’s hair. The beating of her heart was less painful as it had been the previous days. Every beat had been a reminder of the hearts that had stilled, but now it was a reminder that she loved. And that she was loved.

Perhaps this was what they had all done it for. Whether Valhalla awaited her or not, this live was still worth living. Eivor silently thanked Soma, Hunwald and Hjorr for their sacrifice, promising she would honor and cherish their gift every day that lasted her in this life.

They had fallen, so she may return home.

\---

[En Livstid I Krig](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBs3G1PvyfM&ab_channel=Sabaton)

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the song En Livstid I Krig by the Swedish band Sabaton. There also is an English version (A Lifetime Of War) but the Swedish version is just so much deeper. Do yourself a favor and watch the video (the link at the end) with the subtitles turned on.
> 
> Kudos and feedback are always appreciated!


End file.
